Dreams

You thought this was going to be about my hopes and dreams for life, didn't you? Nope, it's stranger than that.

I have the weirdest dreams. For as long as I can remember, this has been happening. They make so little sense that they are difficult to explain in the light of day. There are always things that I just know in my dreams. I rarely see anything scary or emotionally scarring, but I know that bad things are happening. There are frequently people that I've never seen, but I know who they are. Sometimes they are even close friends and family members who have apparently decided to reside in a different body for that particular dream. Almost always, my dreams mix different aspects of my life into one confusing jumble.

This is a nightly occurrence, usually I have several strange dreams in one night. Generally Jacob is the one who gets to hear about them in the morning and it's a wonder that he hasn't had me committed yet.

If I believed in dream analysis, someone would have a field day trying to interpret my dreams. None of the usual themes that you hear about occur in my dreams. No flying, no running from an unseen threat, no public nudity, no falling, etc. And very rarely can I find any connection between my dreams and what's happening in my life.

Here are a few examples of some more mild ones that I've had the past few nights:

I had two dreams the other night in which I was with two friends of mine, both named Becky (who have not met each other in real life and would have no reason to be in the same place at the same time). In the first we were just sitting around talking, nothing too odd. In the second, I had been in class at BYU and was walking out to the car with one of the Becky's when we ran into the other Becky, who had just been beat up by some random guy. The guy was there, but for some reason we were completely unconcerned with him and he just walked off. We continued on to the car, pulled out the first aid kit and were trying to decide whether to force her to go to the hospital or not. When I woke up from this dream I felt extremely worried and nervous....it was hard to go back to sleep.

Last night I had a dream where different parts of my life got themselves all jumbled together. I was at church, in Syracuse, Utah. The members of the ward were an odd conglomeration of people from my current ward in Arizona and my previous ward in Orem. A member of the ward had died (he died minutes before the dream started, one of those things I just know), so instead of doing the normal meetings we were planning the funeral. It was someone that everyone in the ward loved, but it seemed like everyone was too busy planning the funeral to think about the fact that he was dead. I was in charge of everything for some reason, so I was running around, trying to figure out what everyone was working on. There was one group of people that had decided to put together a slide show of pictures of the person. I said that was a good idea and told them to start gathering pictures and started spreading the word myself that people should get pictures to them. Suddenly, no one told me, but I knew that one of my friends from Orem was very worried about this plan. She knew that someone in the ward had a picture of her that she was embarrassed about and was terrified that they were going to slip it into the slide show. I became unreasonably panicked and was alternating between trying to comfort her and running around the church trying to find the picture.

These were pretty mild dreams. Compared to some others, these are not weird at all. I seriously wonder sometimes if my subconscious is crazy. I pretty sure that my conscious mind isn't completely nuts, but I have to wonder some days.

I really hope that a dream in not a wish your heart makes.